DHOOM 3 - The fifth degree torture...
Last movie I watched in theatre was "Lunchbox" and it was amazing to say the least. Since then I have watched movie only on my laptop.
So, a couple of days before this Friday on 20th of December 2013, as I was approached by couple of my friends for watching "Dhoom 3" , I was not sure, but then I said, just because I would be going along with friends and next thing, it was an Aamir movie.
TLDR - It was a horrible decision and I should have said "NO". It's a 5th degree torture, ie the movie "Dhoom 3".
For the records, I have not watched the two earlier parts of the same franchise. So, I had no expectations, and no biases to judge the third part of the franchise.
The movie starts with Jackie Shroff and I was surpised pleasantly, as I had not read anywhere that he is part of the movie. I kind of like this guy, over the years, since "Teri Meharbaniyaan" and "Hero" came.
But then, everything is abrupt from the start itself.
1. The bankers decide to watch a special show to decide whether they should auction the property of circus or not.
2. Jackie Shroff shoots himself, because the bankers decide to auction off the assets of the circus.Where in the world it happens like that. Bankers are not concerned how good or bad your show is, they wonder about whether you are making money or not. And if they have come to this point, where they have to decide, whether they have to auction the assets or not, amply means that, there is no money coming.
3. Bank notes flying after every robbery.If you have 2 small kids and nobody to look after them, would you commit a suicide just because bank is going to auction off the assets of your professional company? How ridiculous is that? More so, it was shown as some kind of payback or revenge by Jackie Shroff by committing suicide, when he says "Tumhari aisi-taisi bank waalon" . But then this is a hindi movie, and anything can happen.
4. Nonsense entry of Amitabh Bachchan and Uday Chopra in the movie.Aamir Khan is supposed to be the greatest robber on planet earth. He has managed to rob the same bank, over a period of time, but nobody has a damn clue, how he managed to do that. Probably, not event he director. The audience are left wondering, till the end, how all this is happening. Everytime a robbery happens, there are bank notes flying all around, but how the robbery is happening is a well guarded secret by the director of the movie, probably they do not like to share the secret with the rest of the world. That's ok dude.
5. Victoria and the two Indian cops.You do not need to be a rocket scientist to understand why Uday Chopra lands up roles in the movies directed by his brother only, it is amply visible. He was dumb since his first movie, but he has not made any effort, towards not increasing the dumbness of his on the scale 1 to 10, by the choice of movies and roles he does.The entry of AB and UC in the movie is the most nonsense part of the entire scheme. No plot. Just ridiculous scenes, like flying autos through a brick wall. Auto disintegrating automatically. Fight sequences inspired by Rohit Shetty.The headache starts from here itself...
6. Bikes chase galore.You might be thinking that I have gone bonkers, I mean this is just a movie right? Nope, you are wrong.Movies today, take so much of our time-space today. You read newspaper or magazine or watch television, prior to launch of a movie, you are bound to be bombarded about it. So you feel betrayed or robbed of your time-space if you go and watch a movie, like I did with Dhoom 3 and its an absolute disaster.Well, back on the note of discussion. This character Victoria was created only for Uday Chopra's sake. I am not sure, Uday Chopra is as dumb in the real life also or not, but going by the fact that he actually did this role, all facts points to affirmative. Absolutely silly dialogues, which are not needed. And Victoria, which was not at all needed.And yeah, in the whole of United States of America, Chicago Police Department cannot find a single guy who can help them with this mystery of hindi writing on the robbed lockers of the bank. Apart from that fact, what was there, which requires the visit of two indian cops to Chicago.Horrible man, horrible !
7. The ingenious engineer in the Aamir KhanI am not sure Fast and Furious came early or Dhoom franchise, but I can bet Rs.10 that Dhoom franchise came early and the guys of Fast and Furious just copied there bike chase scenes into the car chase scenes and made millions so far.Everywhere in the movie, the bikes are running, and the worst part, the chases are not even dramatic and thrilling either. The director has tried to create some sound visual effects with the bike chase scenes, thats all. They are all plain boring and dull. But they are everywhere in the movie.And yes, it is not only the bikes which are flying. Even the bicycles are also flying. The entry of Katrina Kaif is also mind-blowing. She rides the whole stair-case on the bikes. You bet, nothing is crawling in this movie...
8. The end.Now there is this bike, which can hide (literally) by swallowing every single protruding part of its, cans swim by suddenly becoming a power boat and can swim under-water too, like a submarine.I was dying to see that fly, when in the end, it suddenly becomes a rocket and jets off the boat and lands on the other side. I mean bravo, Aditya Chopra ! You ensured that I have at least two aspirins as soon as I reach back home.
I have already written more than 1070 words on this, though if this would have been any worthy topic, I could have definitely gone ahead, but I do not want to waste any further time on this stupid movie.How the next morning, the aamir brothers reach over the top of a dam, and where they were going? How the duo was tracked by the indian cops, right at the spot?This is one of the many mysteries, which would dumb-found you, once you will watch the movies.
The review of Times of India has given this movie 4 stars, I really pity the kids of the guy/gal who wrote this review for Times of India. May god bless the kids.
No story, no screen-play. Ridiculous dialogues. Very ordinary acting. Shabby special effects and I could just go on.
Only saving grace is one song...
If you have brains, then do not go and watch this movie. And If you do indeed have brains, keep your brain at your home, and then go and watch...