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Showing posts from October, 2005

shark infested Waters!!!!

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A train ride to remember!!!!!!

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Always travel in the rear bogies of the train, if not convinced, then this photograph says it all......

Would you dare to go there?

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See the photograph carefully, the man is landing straightaway in the mouth of the croc....

Funny Quotes 3

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Funny Quotes 2

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Funny Quotes 1

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Great reasons to be a guy(Part 2)

Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

Your orgasms are real. Always.

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

Foreplay is optional.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

The world is your urinal.

Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

Same work... more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. 'Nuff said...

If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

Princess Di's death was just another obituary.

The occasional well-rendered be…

Great reasons to be a guy(And boy I am glad at being one!!!)

Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.

You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean if the meter reader is coming.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."

Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

Wedding dress - $2,0…

Reasons for myself being single!!!!

Cooking my own meals would be an adventure, not a punishment.

I wouldn't have to explain why I'm wearing "that" shirt with "those" pants.

I could leave the toilet seat in any position I damn well please.

I could actually tell the bartender, "If anyone calls, I'm here".

I'd be painting the town instead of the house.

When I get home after work, I don't have to start work again.

I could show my girlfriend where I live.

I'd be driving a miniskirt instead of a minivan.

The only weeds I'd be concerned with are the ones I'm rolling.

I would have saved $372,416.21 in groceries by now.

I wouldn't catch so much grief about those skid-marks in my underwear!

I'd get to see what my paycheck looks like.

I'd get to see what my credit cards look like.

You can see a different face when you wake up in the morning, every day of the week!

Going to a strip club doesn't have to be a covert mission.

Bachelors don't have Mother-in-laws.

I woul…

Feel the warmth of light, even if you cant see the light!!!

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Just for two mintues read the caption below the graphic, how true it is, isnt it???

There are so many times in our lives, when we feel that the tunnel in which we are walking is never gonna end, and we become so despair, but we should try to follow what this caption is saying!!

It reminds me of one old story, which was there in my curriculum in class 4th or 5th, in which King Akbar asks a common man to stand in Yamuna, half naked in bitter cold winter, in order to win a bet.

The man keeps on standing throughout the night, the King was impressed, when asked how he was able to do that, he said, that there was a flicker coming from a house and looking at that light, he was able to stand whole night.

Birbal, immediately said, that since a flame was burning and he was recieving heat from that flame, so the bet is void. since to win the bet, it was essential that the man, doesnot recieve any heat...

So the man lost the bet, and Birbal won it....

But still, this caption teaches us such an importan…

We dont conquer mountains, we conquer ourselves!!!

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The above caption seems so true, when after looking at this photograph you are tottaly floored by the aura of Mt. Everest!!!!

So much will-power and persistence is needed to reach the summit of this mountain, you start feeling goose - pimples, just at the thought of that!

Kudos to Mr. Hillary and Mr.Tenjing, who conquered it first, after all "Jo jeeta wohi sikander"!!

12 Apostles, now only 11

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Guys, such a beatiful piece of art, created by nature. sadly of the 12 Apostles, only 11 are remaining, one recently fell down....

But nothing has changed in the aura of this beauty, isnt it......

I want to visit Australia, just to be at this place, I hope by then all these 11 are intact!!

IIM-A Marketing concepts and Girls

This is sent by Ramit, Buddy one day I would like to meet this professor in flesh and blood........Such a lucid explanation........

Professor at Indian Institute of Management - Ahm was explaining marketingconcepts:

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.You go up to her and say, "I am very rich.Marry me!"That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's veryRich. Marry him."That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call andsay"Hi, I'm very rich.Marry me."That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straightenyourtie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for h er, pick up her bag after she drops it, offerher aride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich. Will you marry me?"That'…

Nids, Reply to your comment.....

Nids, darling, You are right. The place was as noisy and crowded as so many we have visited.....But I disliked that for the following reasons.....

1. I have gone round and round many a times during my childhood, in "Merry go round" and dont want to repeat the same.

2. The dances in many of the Discs is still relatively sober, at least people dont life their legs, like doing kick-boxing, so relatively my limbs are safer there.

3.Music was very awful, and at least "Purple haze", "eighties", "Enigma" etc etc have much more decent music... And you will agree I guess....

4. After a hectic day at work, you want to relax and not to do aerobics!!

5.The boys to girls ratio is still more decent in a disc, here it was heavily skewed and you know which way...Though you having near to me, I dont get too many chances to oogle at other gals.......

6.The atmosphere is much more seducing in a disc, and you will agree.....

7.And above all, in a disc, you dance close to …

Pappu, jaise taise pass ho gaya aakhir!!!

After I guess more than 5 years,I appeared in an exam in which it was necessary for me to pass, and the passing percentage was whopping 70%(Which is distinction for that matter in Engg).

I thought that only Engg. studies are cruel in terms of pass percentages(50%), but this test was more than that.

We had the "Sales knowledge evaluation test" on 14th, and being the baby in the organisation, I was the most apprehensive one, as I had the least knowledge. And since the pass percentage was so high, it only added my nervousness!

Ttried to gather few info from the website and other info leaflets, and in the morning, the scene was just like my semester exams, when you used to run with your bathroom slippers on, to the college.

As soon as we rushed to the office, everyone was trooping around the comp. having the presentation slides of the training, same like the college days, trying to mug up, at the last moment.The scene was no different than the earlier days....

Luckily, the test went …

Miss Beauty and brains!!!!

Nids darling, if you ever enter a "Miss Beauty and Brains" contest, you would easily end up in the top three, so try for that next time!

You wont believe, what I have written, I guess this is the most flattering thing that I ever said to you, but yes, I guess you stand a decent chance haan.....

The way you study and the way you put effort, sometimes I am embarassed, in fact most of the times. And I wont be a MCP to not to accept that fact, the way you study, its awesome man!

Whenever you gingerly tell me every morning, every afternoon, every evening and every night about your studies, your tests, your exams and your projects, I feel very proud of you......
But yes, simultaneously, I am very worried sometimes, that it should not happen that you yourself become a case study, and I have told you also this so many times....

Baby, take it easy sometimes and chill. We all are proud of you and specially myself, the effort you put in is really awesome.....

Its good to see you, that you wa…

So another"Navratra" is over in Bombay!!

The Navratri is over and so is the all the excitement in Bombay at least.
The way I as a kid used to celebrate these 10 days are so different from now....
It was more of "Durga Puja" in my part of world. The greatest attraction though were the lunches organised on the different days, mostly for the gals(Kanyas). but we boys also used to troop in. And sometime we used to get small change, which was good enough for a couple of candies.
Though the gals were the biggest beneficiary....

And also, the only live drama I ever watched in my life, "The Ramleela". I still remember so many times dozing off in the ground only, as always it used to get over very late. Those were the days...... and now its the "Garba" days.

Earlier as a kid we used to be anxious for these days only because of the festivity, but now as a Salesman,its more of business also, so the excitement remains like always....

Now since the Navratras are over, Bombay would be again a bit quiter, until come…

I hope you dance!

Well thats what, Nids and Avni were hoping for me, when I went for "Garba" yesterday night, on their popular demand.

Well, Nids has been after my life for a couple of days but I was resisting the idea coz I know that its not my cup of tea.
But guess, its criminal not to attend even a single "Garba" during the "Navratras" in bombay.

You have a look and almost each street or corner would be hosting their own "Garba", and this time due to the relaxed timing, people were thrilled.
This is my 3rd year in Bombay, the first year I watched the Garba , guess at least on 3 to4 days, as it was one of the local ones, and like all the people, I used to go, just to oogle at the sexy gals.

Last year, it was only once and that too work related as my previous company was the co-sponsor of "Sankalp" the biggest one. Being with my boss, It was all work and we moved out soon to resume the work.

So this year I decided that at least once I should go and visit. So…

You are true Mr.Armstrong.."Its not about the bike"!!!

The book which nowadays I am hunting is the autobiography of Mr. Lance Armstrong and its called "Its not about the bike".

Mr. Armstrong you are very true, its not about the bike at all, its about so many things else than the bike.....

The title of Mr. Armstrong books leads my thought to my own days of cycyling while in Engg. college.
Many of my friends including me did not use to live on the campus for various reasons and inspite of being out-station candidates, were more like day-scholars.

So everyday, while most of my friends will zoom of on their bikes, I would start paddling on my bike, and it would be always a long journey.
To cut it short, I would just make an instantaneous goal for me that withing 15 mins, I have to reach this certain point, and my paddling would become faster....

Once I reach there, I would again revise my target and the time and would start paddling for the same, while the target would come nearer, my paddling would become swifter...And always I allowed m…

Maalik maine aapka namak khaya hai!!!

Well, thats the feeling we all salesmen brethren have, even after we leave a particular company and join some other, we are loyal to the products of the former company.

It has been always with me so, but I was prompted by one recent incident to write this blog.

After the month-end on 30th, when we sat in a restaurant to celebrate, my boss ordered for a peg of whisky, along with soda. The waiter returned with the peg and a bottle of "Kinley" soda, my boss immediately asked the guy to return it back, and bring a bottle of "Dukes" soda.

For ordinary mortals like us, atleast a soda, is a soda, whether its of "Kinley" or "Dukes", they all taste the same and anyone can vouch for that.

So we were all surprised, but then we realised the reason for that, Our boss, an ex Pepsico veteran, cant have a "Kinley" as its from the competitor stable "Coca Cola", inspite of close to one year, leaving Pepsi!!

Reluctantly, he had to had "Kinley&…

Its all so fickle........

Its all so fickle, isnt it?

Got home late yesterday, and today morning when feteched the newspaper, was shocked to see the news about the quake.

It reminds how life and everything about life is so fickle, you strive, fight, cajole for all those things, and you dont know even, when all those things will be gone.

The only things which will be left are the memories of your loved ones. The graphics of the news channel were so disturbing on a sunday morning, and it forces you to think, is all that worth it???

Why does it happen? Why in a whisker, everything gets lost?? Whats my fault???

And I guess, for the rest of their lives these people are left with only one thing, after this tragedy, and its the questions, and nobody can provide the answers for that.....

Its so sad, but can we help that, No!

Who knows, we are the next, its all so fickle.......

Hum-nasheen dekho aiye hum-nasheen.......

Its again the festive time, Navraratri for all the bombayites, but for me it will be always"Durga Puja", and every year my memories goes back to my childhood days in Jabalpur....

It used to be so much fun and excitement, the schools would be closed and they will saddle us with homework, and I used to make it a point to complete that in the first couple of days only, so that Mom could take me along , and not complain about my remaining homework....

We would go for "Pushpanjali" on the first day, and even though not being a Bengali, it was no less important for us. Dad would get new clothes for all of us, before the D day. Those were not the "Ready- made" days, and that meant going to select the fabric and the customary trip to the tailor, all this was part of the fun package.

I still remember the goose bumps, when dad will say that, today we are going to get new clothes, that means, a Dosa and an ice-cream also.......Now buying clothes has become so mundane a…

Here I am alone again.....

So here I am alone again!

Josh has gone to Pune and Peter has gone somewhere out, trying to pose as a debonair,may be to play Dandiya, but the end result would be evident only when he comes back, may be I already know the result!!!

Its like again those days, when I used to live alone in Mumbai. I have been alone, my life, for more than 1/3rd of it, and guess, now am used to it, and may be I can live like this for the rest of my life.

But yes, sometime it does hurt!

So here I am, writing my blog, which has now become my hobby, and waiting for the snacks, which I ordered quite a long time back, and yes, listening to my songs, without which it would be a bit difficult to survive.

Did nothing today except curling in the bed, thats what you do on a sunday, I guess. Thankfully, dont have to do my clothes, some ration left for a couple of days....He he he ..

Not a single phone call today, it seems so surprising, I avoid taking phone calls on a sunday, unless I know that it would be bad for busines…

BUT THE FACT IS TOM NEVER GIVES UP CHASING JERRY.....

In one of my previous blogs, I wrote about this "Tom and Jerry" chase, and the fact that Tom can never catch Jerry(This holds true for these many years, so far).

I also advocated that we should all find our "Jerries" and stop chasing them and stop wasting our energies on that.

But the truth is,Tom can never stop chasing Jerry!

Yes, its the truth.While its always prudent to do so, the fact is that its so difficult to follow on.

Imagine, something for which you strived for so many yearsof your life(And the fact that YOU LIVE ONLY ONCE), every single moment of every single day, just because you are not able to get it, does not mean, you stop chasing.

Life is all about being persistent and nobody knows this better than me. Its not easy and one should never give up on her or his dreams, till the last breath. Thats all there is!

All of us focus on the destination, but I guess, somebody rightly said, "In the journey lies the destination". And as far as I am concerned,…

Wives v/s Husbands

!!! Guess who wins every time!!!!

1. A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats , and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."


2. A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day . . . 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men . . . “The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"


3. A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you ! “

4. Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, …

Microsoft v/s Apple

This is a good one sent by Manish sir.....

Three Apple engineers and three Microsoft engineers are traveling bytrain to a conference. At the station, the three Microsoft engineers each buy tickets and watch as the three Apple engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only oneticket?" asks a Microsoft engineer. "Watch and you'll see," answers the Apple engineer.

They all board the train. The Microsoft engineers take their respective seats but all three Apple engineers cram into a rest room and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the rest room door and says, "Ticket, please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. Theconductor takes it and moves on.
The Microsoft engineers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, theMicrosoft engineers decide to copy the Apple engi…

Thats for you kids!!!

Well, this is my 104th blog. Not all of them are written by me, but all of them do represent a thought abut me.

One of the reason to write a diary is that you release some deep down buried emotions and in turn feel better, I guess most of the people write for this reason.

One of the other motivation for me to write was to give something to my kids, so that they can have an idea about their dad, when they grow up.

Often when you are growing up, it becomes so difficult to understand your parents, and this is the only thing which cause most of the teenage years problems.

I thought that may be when, my kids will have something to read about their dad, which gives an overall perspective to them about their dad's life, it woul be easier fro them to understand me and may be we wont have the teenage woes.

Well, its still sometime before they come in this world, may be when they become mature enough to understand all that I have written, this blog would be of thousand of pages, and it would tak…

If only Sonia were there.....

Sonia,

You missed something yesterday. I could have easily proved your hypothesis that"I dont know how to dance".

Yesterday we had a party organised for the salesmen, and the happening feature was ofcourse the DJ dancing party , and boy, we danced to the hilt, and thoroughly organised.

A couple of my men came and said that ,"Boss, it was nice dancing with you". And a couple of them told me today.

Well, Sonia, I know that am not MJ, but I can shake a leg or two, easily. And, you would have been convinced, if you would have been there.

Anyways, lets see, may be some other time....

First month and I did my numbers!!! And thats a hat-trick

Its a hat-trick for me, this is the consecutive third job in my career, that I have achieved my numbers in the very first month.....

So the first month and first month-end of my new job has passed! And passed well too!

First month and I met all three of my target parameters. The targets were very stretched but yes, I did that.

To be honest, I was lucky. Luckily there was one devlopment which helped me in getting my numbers.

But what the heck, Either you do your numbers or you dont, and I did my numbers, thats all matters.

When you dont do your numbers, nobody appreciates your efforts or your sacrifices, its as blunt as , you have not done your numbers, thats it.

But, I am being true, I acknowledge that I was lucky, that I was able to dosuch a stiff target in very first month of my new job.

But was it necessary for me to acknowledge the "luck" factor,Well deep down you nave to face yourself only, so better speak the truth.

Well, next month the targets are doubled and like everybody e…

The QSQT saga......2

A couple of days back when I returned from the work and switched on the idiot-box, they were playing QSQT on the cable channel.

That re-kindled my memories about the events connected with this movie and thats how I wrote the first part of this blog.
Those were the days when I was a kid, and the trip to the theatre were once in a bluemoon affairs, solely depending on the mood of dad. We never asked, to go the theatre.

The craze for this movie was very much in the air, the songs were a smash hit, and this time I badly wanted to watch this movie, just for the songs. But I could never ask dad that I want to go to see this movie with my friends, it was not in,in our lives.

So there came an opportunate moment, the news was that on a particular friday, they will showing the movie in our club. I have once written about my gorgeous neighbour"Parul" in our earlier blog, it was those time.

Well, I guess her father was out of town on tour, so her sisters requested my mother to come along wit…