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Showing posts from August, 2005

To be or not to be???

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I guess, this Flamingo, like me also, thinking the same thing?

Well, I am really in two minds now, and not being able to decide what to do, as I have 2 job offers in hand...

The catch is that, one of them is offering me good money, while the other one though offering lesser money than the former, is offering me an enhanced job profile.

and, I am in a fix, and have only one day to decide, What do you say???

Baby, Can I hold you tonight???

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Cuties

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I wish, One day I could have all of these cuties....

what do you say????

When, you are in love????

THIS IS A LOVELY ONE SENT BY MY COLLEGEMATE, RUPESH SAHA......

When you are together with that special someone, you pretend to ignorethat person.
But when that special someone is not around, you might look around to find them.
At that moment, you are in love.

Although there is someone else who always makes you laugh,your eyes and attention might go only to that special someone. Then, you are in love.

Although that special someone was supposed to have called you long back, to let you know of their safe arrival, your phone is quiet.You are desperately waiting for the call!At that moment, you are in love.

If you are much more excited for one short e-mail fromthat special someone than other many long e-mails,you are in love.

When you find yourself as one who cannot erase all theemails or SMS messages in your phone because of one message from that special someone, you are in love.

When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you wouldnot hesitate to think of that special someone.Then, you are …

SCIENTIFIC PROOF, THAT GIRLS ARE EVILS!!!

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Koi Lauta de mere college ke din!!!!!

THIS IS A NICE ONE SENT BY MY SENIOR ,MANISH JAISWAL SIR, COMPLETELY SUMS UP OUR ENGG. DAYS........

Yeh Degree Bhi Lelo Ye Naukari Bhi Lelo
Bhale Chheen Lo Mujhse Us Ka Visa
Magar Mujhko Lauta Do College Ki Canteen
Vo Kam Chaay Ka Pani Vo Teekha Samosaa
College Ki Canteen Me Hum Sab The Raja,

Vo Chaayvaalaa Jise Saare Kehte The Khawja
Vo Kahwja Ke Hathon Ki 'Bi2' Chaay Meethee
Vo Chupkese Journal Mein Bheji Hui Chitthi
Vo Padhtehi Chiththi Uska Tilmilaanaa
Vo Chehre Ki Laali Vo Aankhon Ka Gussaa...

Kadi Dhoop Mein Apne Ghar Se Nikalnaa
Vo Project Ki Khatir Shahar Bhar Bhataknaa
Vo Lecture Mein Doston Ki Proxy Lagaanaa
Vo Sar Ko Chidhanaa ,Vo Aeroplane Udaanaa
Vo Submission Ki Raton Ko Jagnaa Jagaanaa
Vo Orals Ki Khahani Vo Lab-On Ka Kissaa....

Bimaari Ka Detention Ke Time Bahanaa
Vo Doosron Ke Assignments Ko Apnaa Banaanaa
Vo Seminar Ke Din Pairoka Chhatpatanaa
Vo Workshop Mein Din Raat Pasinaa Bahanaa
Vo Exam Ke Din Ka Bechain Maahaul

Par Vo Maa Ka Vishvas Teachar Ka Bharosaa
Colleg Ki Wo La…

IS THIS SO???

I've been told that my writing is a lot like toilet water,it goes in circle without making any sense, and half of the time its full of shit!!!!

Do you also feel so??

PLS POST YOUR COMMENTS, ANONYMOUS WILL ALSO DO...

THE THING MORE DIFFICULT THAN DOING A Phd IN METAPHYSICS FROM CALTECH!!!

Well, yes, a few days back I carried two live bombs in my packets.

And, to make it more deadly, they were biological rather than chemical.

All of you know, that biological weapons are supposed to be more deadly than the chemical ones, and here I was carrying not one but two of them, and in a crowded city like Mumbai!!

Well, I had to undergo the medical check up, as listed in the offer letter of a company which I am going to join, which is the pre-condition before you join. You fail and your offer stands null and void.

The check-up was supposed to be a exhaustive ones with all kind of tests, including the urine and stool.

The company which I am going to join, the HR is really professional, they handed me over two empty lab containers along with the offer letter, to can my precious belongings!

It cant get more professional than that, they saved me from the wild goose hunt of finding the right size containers!!!

First of all, the liquid part, its easy to can the stuff. But what about the solid…

SHIT HAPPENS, SOMETIMES!!!

My favourite movie, Forrest Gump. I never get tired of watching that. I guess, I can watch it everyday. It feels so close to your heart, if you have a heart ie.

When Forrest is running and the people join them, theres a bumper sticker businessman, who wants some slogans for the new stickers. While running, Forrest slams into a pile of dog-shit and that biz-man is shocked. Forrest says calmly,"It happens". The many says, What, Shit? Forrest says, "Sometimes".

Shit happens to all of us sometimes, more often than not, going by the number of times, all of us exclaims.

Sometimes, it happens, literally. Yes, shit!

This goes by about 21 or 22 years back, when I was a toddler. I dont know how my stomach went berserk in the afternoon, but it became bad suddenly. I was returning back in the rickshaw from school to my home, and finally it happened, the shit!

Well, these are one of the most testing times for a man's character, you in the middle of the road, the shit waiting to …

WHAT A SUNDAY!!!

What a sunday its going.....

*Woke up and straight away wote a blog.

*Went through the newspapers and then again went to bed, as slept only by 5.30am in the morning.

*Again, the cell of Josh rang, first thing in the morning, like it everytime does, and he starts blabbering. God knows, how he speaks so much the entire day.

*Could not sleep due to Josh and put on Ronan Keating. It feels so nice to listen to "When you say nothing all", when you are still in bed, weary eyes...

*Next track, "Life is a rollercoaster" and boy you cant be still in bed, while that song is playing on, so I got up.

*Now time to have the essential cuppa of tea, so along with Peter and Josh, off we went down, and finally I blast Peter for the unfair act that he committed with me yesterday night.

*You come back, and guess what, Josh starts the sunday in such a royal way, after having tea;he is having beer.

*Peter does the first good act of the day, collects all the clothes and gives it to laundry. This…

Peter rocked at Enigma yesterday night!!!

What do you the first thing on a sunday morning? Well, I am writing a blog, crazy na??

Yes, its crazy. And am crazy because of Peter, what he did yesterday night.
Yes, he rocked at Enigma, and I guess all the gals and sexy sirens of JW Marriott were vying each other to get close to him( Thats what he felt when he was boogeying there).

And that ass.... was getting sandwiched all the time between Anushree and Sonia and dint even allow me a chance to get close to them.

Boss, somebody explain to him yaar, when you are dancing and theres dearth of good gals, you should ration your urges and let your brethren also share the pie.
But Peter, tottaly transfixed by the seductivity of the moment, decided to "Have the cake and eat it too".

Well, I have enough of killer instincts to bull.... Peter, but yesterday I dont know why, I let him enjoy with Sonia and Anushree and kept on watching like somebody hapless at the shores, watching his boat being washed away.......

That ass.... dint even aske…

My "Six honest serving men"!!!

I keep six honest serving-men (They taught me all I knew);

Their names are What and Why and When And How and Where and Who.

I send them over land and sea, I send them east and west;

But after they have worked for me, I give them all a rest.

I let them rest from nine till five, For I am busy then,As well as breakfast, lunch, and tea,

For they are hungry men.

But different folk have different views.

I know a person small-She keeps ten million serving-men, Who get no rest at all!She sends'em abroad on her own affairs,

From the second she opens her eyes-One million Hows, two million Wheres, And seven million Whys!

-: Rudyard Kipling

To You..................

To, Arif, Pankaj Yadav,Anurag, Ramit, Josh, Vikas, Nair,Nivea, Bhairavi, Sapna and Nids.......

A BEST FRIEND


A best friend is always there,whether you need advice,or a pep talk,or even a shoulder to cry on.

A best friendlistens with her heartand is always honest with you,even though the truthmay not bewhat you want to hear.

A best friendknows all your secrets,understands your fearsshares your dreams.

A best friendnever stops believing in youeven if you give upon yourself.

you arethat kind of friendto me.

And no matter what happens,you always will be.

You are my best friend....my forever friend.

Indians, The Hypocrites!!!

THIS IS ANOTHER GOOD ONE SENT BY MY FRIEND, RAMIT!!!

We're Indians. We don't kiss. Kissing is what people outside India do. We just smile shyly at the people we love. Watch our many movies for proof.

We are all heterosexual. Homosexuals live outside our borders. We encourage our media to explore sexuality. We accept alternative sexualities, even though we are all convinced they do not exist.

Few of us undress fully while making love. Undressing is what people outside India do. We are content with a little wiggling and maybe a few post-coital cigarettes. Sex is, after all, a dirty word. We don't think about sex. It's never on our minds. We think pure thoughts at all hours.

We love cricket. It's because we're so good at it. It's because our cricketers pour their hearts into every game. Other sports are not worthy of our attention. Other sportsmen do not pour their hearts out into their games. Other sportsmen are not worthy of endorsing our brands of footwear, ae…

The Emperor is back!!!

Well, thats what the mother of Napolean said exactly, When the statue of Napolean was unveiled in the central square of Rome, after his death at St. Helena.

Most of you who occasionaly visit my blog at some or other time, would be wondering, for this long 10 days absence......

At least I disappointed Sapna, who religiously visits my site every morning and also Nidhi, who asks that whether I have written any other blog or not???

The reason was that, I was ill and then I went to Pune to recuperate and also to meet my parents. Since because of my illness, I was not in very good state of mind to write something, though I was itching to do so.

So now, lets again talk about the numbers, I have to complete the shortfall of 10 days before the month-end and I will do that.

Since, I am free till 1st, so time should not be a problem.

So, Ladies and Gentlemen, "The Pauper is back"!!!!

Adios!!!

THIS IS THE LETTER WHICH I WROTE, ALONG WITH MY RESIGNATION LETTER.....

Respected Madams,Sirs and Friends

Today, I seek your blessings and well-wishes, as I leave my present job and assignment for better and bigger prospects.

Last one and half year has been definitely the best years of my career so far, and it has been possible only because all of you were there, as a friend, philospher and guide.

As I leave, I take this opportunity to express my gratitude and respect to some of my seniors, with whom I had the previlege of working....

**First of all, Alok and Advait boss, who put faith in me, risked on me and provided the opportunity ,to be in this job. All my learnings would not have been there, if I was not provided this opportunity. I would be eternally grateful to them for this, which provided me so much to learn.Whatever I learnt in this business, started from both of you, coz I was just a rookey, when I joined.
I hope sirs, I have not let you down(A bit here and there is exceptional …

Un-beaten half-century:My 50th blog

See here I go again, actually a salesman can never get out of this number game. And, theres no reason why should he. After all, life of us all brethren is numbers, and its our lives, at least mine gentlemen!

I am not married but ask a dedicated salesman that hows his married life is going on and may be he will answer, again in statistics....
Number of hugs, Number of kisses, Number of times the spouse said "I love you", Number of times they made love, Everything compared YoY for the current month!!!

Ha Ha Ha!!!!

But thats how our live is...

I always wanted to write, to give my thoughts sort of permanent birth, but it just never happened....
Somehow, I was always itching to pen down my thoughts, re-arrange my feelings, try to assemble them all in one place...

Thanks to this blogging phenomena, my dream came true...

I wrote for a many days in diary, but then, somehow that got lost at one of the hotels where I stayed, it was precious. After that, I never wrote. I guess, I was still emb…

I BELIEVED

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Always keep the faith

For everything else there`s Mastercard!!!

It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.
As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was a manila envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.
Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "F--- y…

Twenty-one things which will make your life better!!!

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great lov…

Maa tujhe salaam!!!

As today, like since so many years, I watch the Independence day speech of PM, My thoughts wander to my school days, when it was such an important occasion for me that, come what may, I have to be at the school.

Starched, all white uniform and later during my NCC days, the NCC uniform, I would be up and running towards the school even if it used to rain.

There used to be a certain excitement, a certain spring in the walk on that day.

I would fight with my younger sister for the flowers in the garden, which we used to decorate the surroundings of the staff deck. Though, whether she collects the better and brighter ones or I, it would be used for the same purpose, but I guess in those days, we were naive to know that.

Both of us wanted to make our maximum contribution.....

You reach school and you have all the patriotic songs playing on the loudspeaker, specially hired for the day. Listening to those songs, I would resolve again that I HAVE TO JOIN ARMY, and would imagine myself marching dow…

Vijayi vishwa tiranga pyara, Jhanda oonchaa rahey hamara!!!

A moth-eaten rag on a worm-eaten pole
It does not look likely to stir a man's soul,
'Tis the deeds that were done'neath the moth-eaten rag,
when the pole was a staff, and the rag was a flag.
:- Sir Edward B. Hamley

Off with your hat, as the flag goes by,
And let the heart have it say,
You're man enough for a tear in your eye
that you will not wipe away.
:- Henry Cuyler Bunner

Cheers for the sailors that fought on the wave for it,
Cheers for the soldiers that always were brave for it,
Tears for the men that went down to the grave for it,
Here comes the flag!!
:- Arthur Macy

Are you happy??

Its elementary that one cant have everything in this world, that he or she desires.

We all, always strive to achieve and accumulate as much as possible, but is that also enough?

Are we happy even then?

Everything has a price in this world, and unknowingly we do pay the price for each materialistic gain or achievement in our lives.

Its only when we introspect that we realise that what we have gained and what we have lost, and are we really still happy??

Following lines convey the same feelings...

"Zindagi mein kya mod aaye, kuch paa liya hai, kuch chhor aaye;
Khush dhadkane hain, dil hai udaas;
Koi judaa hai, koi hai paas;
Kaisa safar hai, kaisi dagar hai, ye dil na jaane, bin pehchaane hai bechaain" !!!

To be or not to be.......Thats the question Abhishek!!!

There has been many a times it has happened to us that we are faced with two very difficult choices or decisions in our lives, rejecting any one of them is very painful and similarily going for any one is so difficult!

Like moving from your existing place or hometown for study or job etc

You cant leave those sweet old memories and at the same time the future is beckoning with tempting things.....What to do??

But then life is difficult and you have to make a decision, at that moment what does a normal person thinks or goes through?

May be the following couplets would answer that.....

"Mud ke maine jab bhi dekha, ek dikhi hai mujhko rekha;
Us paar jiske jhalakte hain rang, is paar beetey dino ka hai sang;
Kisko chunu main, kiski sunu main, dil na jaane, bin pehchane, hai bechaain" !!!

True isnt it?

What will matter...........

What will matter.....

Ready or not, someday it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.

All the things you collected,whether treasured or forgotten,will pass to someone else.Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.

It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges,resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear.

So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won't matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived,in the end.

It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.

Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter?

How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built;not what you got, but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success, but your significance.

What will matter is not wha…

The Telecom Revolution

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Guys,

After having a look at this snap, you wont be having any doubts in your mind that the Telecom Revolution has arrived to the masses...

Any idea, what the gentleman is conversing???

Enjoy

Aint it lovely?

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Guys,

This is a snap of Autumn, somewhere in Canada.

The trees look so beautiful when they change their colour, isnt it?

My all time favourites are the Maple trees, they look so awesome......

Enjoy!!!

Don't blame me, coz even $60 billion cant get you a decent haircut???

This pertains to one of the recent times, when I again got nostalgic about my ambition to join 9th PARA, and decided that if I cant join them, at least try to resemble them, and resemble them in what, yes gentlemen, the haircut!

So off I went to my regular saloon, I always had more faith in his professional abilities rather than mine, because he managed to do a decent job, with not so decent assignment, which is trimming my hair...

We all sometimes in life get into that "Laboratory Profile", once in a while, and try to experiment, forgetting about all the anguish which brings to the subject, and that day, that barber got in to that "Laboratory Profile".

Actually on more closer introspection, I found that in fact it was my fault. The mandate given by me to him was to do the "Katora cut" (Thats what we call, the crew cut). And I guess, however you mess with somebody's haircut, in the end, you can always get it right to the "Katora Cut".

So the bar…

Mr.Shakespeare, you were wrong!!!

Shakespeare once said, "Whats in a name?", and I beg to differ from the gentleman, not because of his viewpoint that "A rose will smell as beautiful, even its name was not Rose!", but for the fact that if the name does not change the individual, it does affect his or her life!

I would narrate my tragedy!

All through my life, in all my exams, I had to sit on the first bench, with only the cold wall to my rescue, if I wanted somebody's help.

With the invigilator sitting almost on my head, you cant even look to your brethren on the right or only left. Well for most of the times, my need had been restricted to confirm the answer of a numerical or a "Fill-in-the-blank", but I was devoided of even that also.

Another tragedy is that, sice your name is first on the rolls, even if you are late by a whisker in the class, you get to be marked absent!

Again lets go to the tests, being the roll number 1,I had to submit my answer sheet first. People will agree that if y…

Alternate employment opportunities for Mr.Abhishek Rai

Our government is always criticised for not creating enough employment opportunities for the citizens, but I guess after all these years of listening to the criticisms, they have finally woken up to the task...

Well, you often wonder that if one fine day you lose your job for whatever reason, what you r gonna do the next day?

For all such paranoid and apprehensive persons like me, there is reason to smile, courtesy two of our state governments...

For the fact that, these jobs will be paid by government, and for the known fact that governments are very fussy if they have to spend the money for the public, these jobs do require specific skills, otherwise....

The first option is given by the Government of Delhi, you catch a cow, deposit it at the shed of MCD and get cool Rs. 2000 and thats per cow i.e., Now, I know its my chance to make million!
The skills required are, tough body to handle any body blows by the cow, athletic built to handle long chases, guts to bull the cow by tail,pateince …

Durgesh Tea Stall.....

At a point in life when the the pubs and discs seem the logical place to escape from the grind, and to catch up with people, I am reminded of one place, when I was not so young, I used to spend my leisure time with my friends.

The place guys, was "Durgesh Tea Stall", the name itself suggests what the place was all about.

I still remember may be the first time when I visited the place, it was only 2-3 days into my Engg, and Saurabh Shukla, Tariq Sirs (both Mech) caught myself and Kathir and took to their room for ragging, after I had my share of slaps, We were taken to DTS for the cuppa of tea, accompanied by buns..

Guys, after tasting those slaps, buns were not as tasteful, neither was the tea, but this was my first encounter with DTS...

So in the morning, in the evening and on sundays, it was religious to visit DTS and have your favourite cuppa of tea(Now I realise, it does not get better than DTS, the tea ie).

As the rookies, we would discuss our courses, the experience of rag…

Anonymous comments are being ignored...

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Please dont post anonymous comments on my page. All such comments will be ignored and not solicited.

Kindly, leave your name, ifyou post a comment,otherwise they are as good as garbage for me.

Sapna, I know you. And there's no harm if you add the name to your comment.

Also Manish sahab, you read my blog and not a single comment, thats very disheartening to me.

You did comment orally, but that was too flattering. So please leave a comment.

Shweta, none from you too baby :-(.

So, pls leave your name with your comments.

Thanks!!

Month-end and Recruiter's call !!!

Well, its been raining and raining....

My soulmate on such a dull day is my N9500 communicator on which I am typing all the blogs, accessing to net via GPRS and listening to my favourite songs....

Well, for all sales guys, I guess life revolves from one month to another, and thats the way it is for all of us....

You are as good or as bad as your last month, forget about the year or the quarter....

Things are much difficult at my place as our yardstick is the day, At our place you are as good or as bad as your yesterday' sale.... Seems cruel but now I am used to it and enjoy this pressure...

Its always safer to have a job in hand, you never know when you will be shown the door, so I dont think that there would be any guy who dont like the tempting voice of a recruitment consultant.

But, recruitment call on a month-end??

Thats what happened to me on 30th, On an average you recieve one call a day from consultants if you have some reasonable experience, but this is the first time when I got…

Aaj main upar, aasmaan neechein!!!

Guys,

Well the news is that I did my July numbers successfully! !

It was raining heavily since yesterday morning but still the entire team turned up, showing the commitment.

The odds were all over, continious pouring water from heaven, which disabled the delivery services, somehow we managed to make deliveries in a few territories.

The number was very stretched, 3 days sale to be done in one day, but now my guys know what to do on a month-end and they come prepared.

Well, preparation and planning was done on saturday night itself, with executive wise review leading us to a particular number..

But still, I was not sure of the numbers till about 1400 hrs.

But then, now my entire team consists of fighters, and they behave like crack "Ghataks" on month-end day....

You just have to be here to see the energy in the "Mission Control Room", thats what I call, the office where all of us look at numbers and then add up some more. And then there is cabin of "Mission Director&quo…

"Abhishek Rai's Standard" of gauging flood water around you- The Penis Level

On 26th of July, when Josh and myself were navigating through the water,a lot many people were still able to speak on their cell phones and just telling as to what is the current level of water through which they are negotiating.

While the ordinary mortals were using the phrases like, "waist deep" , "chest high" and etc. I decided to be a bit innovative and crazy....

Well guys, the going was so tough that unless you keep yourself in good spirit, I guess you would stall and then you are gone for, without a toss!

So, to indicate the level of water and the level of urgency, I coined the term "Penis Level"!!!

Well, guys the rational is simple, ankle above, the most important organ you have is the Penis. At least for the male of the species, isnt it? (In fact the female of the species will also give their vote that in fact its equally important for them too).

Now when you are faced with such a precarious situation as water rising all around you, I guess if its not …